the tenacious ten: beginning again… again
I’ve typed the first sentence to this post four times now. I can’t seem to settle on what I want to say. I’m back in the swing of actively trying to lose this darn weight. Or at least I was going to be. Then I remembered the gymnastics banquet tomorrow night with the amazing lasagna, and I figured I’d better at least wait until after that, because, well, it would be a shame to waste any of my meal, after all. Which meant my weight work-out went by the wayside tonight, rather than squeezing it in. Which meant I helped to finish the gluten-free brownies so they...
Read Morethe tenacious ten: begining yet again
Today–the day after Easter and our family-wide “binge on sweets because we haven’t had them for six weeks” marathon–I began yet another attempt to take off this ten pounds that has clung to my frame with a great deal of tenacity for the last two and a half years since re-gaining them during The Winter From Hell. The bane of my existence over these two and a half years has been the continual popping up of what I call Major Food Events–which constitutes any situation involving food that is basically out of my control. Restaurants. Birthday parties. ...
Read More(not) living in denial
*sigh* I’ve done it again. I was losing weight, slowly but surely. Pants I’d not been able to wiggle into were now sliding over my rear-end and some were even fastening around the middle. Shirts weren’t as clingy and curve-revealing. People were commenting that I looked like I’d lost weight. I didn’t feel like wrapping my arms around my waist or hiding underneath large, shapeless sweaters. I felt a glimmer of hope, like the first ray of golden yellow that spreads across the horizon at sunrise. Until. Until my daughter’s birthday, when I decided...
Read Morehow to stall your blogging progress
1. try to write a book. this ensures all your spare time (what little spare time you have) will be completely devoured in its wake. 2. work full time (but lie to yourself and insist it’s only part time). 3. have children. enstill within them interests and desires and the belief that they can pursue them. let them pursue them. watch all of your time get sucked down a black hole of practices and performances and experiments and experiences. 4. gain weight. then you won’t want to write about your life, because you will be certain no one will want to hear you whine...
Read Morethe tenacious ten: day 27
Packing for a week away is not easy under normal circumstances. Add any extraneous factors–say, a forecasted 20 degree variance in temperature over the next week combined with a fear of what one is going to look (and feel) like in shorts for the first time in, oh, six months–and, well, it gets downright anxiety-producing. For most people, an 80-some degree day in early April is a joyous thing. For someone uncomfortable and unhappy with their weight, however, it brings mixed emotions, many of them of the negative variety. Anxiety over what will fit and how well. Concern...
Read Morethe tenacious ten: day 23
I am now 23 days into what was supposed to be my hard, fast run toward the finish line. I should be almost there. Um, yeah. Well… Here’s the thing. I SUCK at this. This “go at it hard” and “incredible efforts to get incredible results” thing. What I’m really good at is maintaining. I do that well, for the most part, barring any carbohydrate-craving-inducing injuries right before Christmas that send me into tailspins. Outside of THAT, I maintain my weight fairly easily. It took me some time (all the while telling myself I was trying to...
Read Morethe tenacious ten: day 21 (inertia)
I learned this weekend, under the tutelage of “Professor Ray” at the Hands On Museum in Ann Arbor, that inertia causes something to resist a change in motion. Just to be certain Professor Ray wasn’t making this up, I went straight to the source of all truth and knowledge: Wikipedia. The experts at Wikipedia state: Inertia is the resistance of any physical object to a change in its state of motion or rest, or the tendancy of an object to resist any change in its motion. This is interesting to me as one who strives to create change, both in myself and others. See, I...
Read Morethe tenacious ten: day sixteen
Between being hit (and laid out flat) by the big, red bus that comes once a month and having a little too much birthday revelry, last night was spent in bed on the heating pad rather than in front of my computer. I’m telling myself this was okay, especially given that I have FOUR cancellations today and now have some time to spend catching up. But it doesn’t FEEL okay. The pants feel tighter. The body feels heavier. The mind feels murkier. The mood feels angstier. I’m telling myself that the combination of not having exercised with an extra large salad and a...
Read Morethe tenacious ten: day fourteen
Heading in to week three, it is time to reboot. A week in intense creative flurry bumped my trajectory a bit off course, as did my daughter’s birthday party this weekend. But the jeans that didn’t fit a month ago still fit, so I am not panicking. Yet. Today was back to basics again, as well as I could being exhausted and not feeling well. I’m trying my best to follow my “striped” version of eating clean without being legalistic and thereby depressing the snot out of myself. We shall see if it is enough. If not, then we move to depressing… I have two weeks before there...
Read Morethe tenacious ten: day eight
It is probably not a coincidence, it occurs to me as I struggle to get back on track after a weekend of swerving on and off my path, hands frantically gripping the wheel, that I am currently getting ready to write the part of my book that is about surrender. Probably not. I suppose it might be helpful, maybe, to actually practice what I’m preaching. Maybe. Just maybe. No matter how far I’ve come, no matter how much weight I’ve lost, no matter how long I’ve kept it off, it still comes down to this: I can’t control it, but I can’t not control it. My...
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