dropping the rope
There are days when words just don’t come. I’ve had a string of about twenty-one of them. That nagging feeling of “I should write” playing tug-o-war with the futility of “I have nothing to say”—a constant pulling back and forth that most recently seems to end with me back in bed, covers askew and cats aplenty as I burrow deeper under both. I do not like the constant pulling and tugging—the relentless tension in the line, the way each side digs in their feet and sets their weight in opposition to the other, the rope burns on my hands. I despise the taunting and...
Read Moreit’s about time
Timing is everything. I sat down this past Monday with one of my best friends to finally listen to a Beth Moore series I intended to listen to, oh, about *cough* six months ago, and was reminded, yet again, of this small but irrefutable fact. Timing. Is. Everything. I have alluded to the beginning of this year having been rough—physically, logistically, financially, parentally, maritally, professionally, creatively, emotionally, spiritually. Rough. What I’ve not shared—for a number of reasons—is how a rough winter went into a difficult spring then lapsed into a challenging...
Read Moreyou tell me: shortcuts
What shortcuts enjoyment for you and steals your enjoyment of the moment? Why is it hard to be IN the season you’re in? How do you practice trusting God with tomorrow so as to enjoy today? If you sat down with a blank piece of paper, how long would it take to fill it with things you are thankful for? Are you willing to try it and see? What might you need to surrender to the Lord in order to enjoy the life you have been...
Read Moretransformative trust
(This post is dedicated with my deepest sympathy and hope to Nicolle Bompart of Eyes Wide Open International) If you know me well, or if you’ve spent any time at all on my couch, you’ve heard me mention, at least once, Hannah Hurnard’s spiritual allegory, Hind’s Feet on High Places. On my Top Five Books of All Time list, its impact on my life, and on many others who have read it, has been profound. (You can read more about my own experience with “Much Afraid” here.) Hind’s Feet on High Places tells the story of little Much Afraid, a crippled and disfigured young...
Read More…the empty print…
What else does this craving, and this helplessness, proclaim but that there was once in man a true happiness, of which all that now remains is the empty print and trace? This he tries in vain to fill with everything around him, seeking in things that are not there the help he cannot find in things that are, though none can help, since this infinite abyss can be filled only with an infinite and immutable object; in other words by God himself. Blaise Pascal Still struggling with fatigue and brain-fog, but this quote from my reading last night struck me and I wanted to share...
Read Moremy night is not my own
It’s been another one of those days. After an angsty week of desperately trying to get to the computer to get some much-needed work done, I was going to spend a few hours this morning working on my proposal and putting up a few new posts. Breakfast with a friend, then pick up my daughter from the youth car wash, then home by 11:00. Three hours to write before getting ready and going out with my husband for the afternoon/evening. Great. Breakfast is pushed back. No problem. I roll with it, and am actually thankful for the extra sleep. (Never mind that my dedicated friend I...
Read Morethe tenacious ten: begining yet again
Today–the day after Easter and our family-wide “binge on sweets because we haven’t had them for six weeks” marathon–I began yet another attempt to take off this ten pounds that has clung to my frame with a great deal of tenacity for the last two and a half years since re-gaining them during The Winter From Hell. The bane of my existence over these two and a half years has been the continual popping up of what I call Major Food Events–which constitutes any situation involving food that is basically out of my control. Restaurants. Birthday parties. ...
Read More(not) living in denial
*sigh* I’ve done it again. I was losing weight, slowly but surely. Pants I’d not been able to wiggle into were now sliding over my rear-end and some were even fastening around the middle. Shirts weren’t as clingy and curve-revealing. People were commenting that I looked like I’d lost weight. I didn’t feel like wrapping my arms around my waist or hiding underneath large, shapeless sweaters. I felt a glimmer of hope, like the first ray of golden yellow that spreads across the horizon at sunrise. Until. Until my daughter’s birthday, when I decided...
Read Morethe tenacious ten: day 27
Packing for a week away is not easy under normal circumstances. Add any extraneous factors–say, a forecasted 20 degree variance in temperature over the next week combined with a fear of what one is going to look (and feel) like in shorts for the first time in, oh, six months–and, well, it gets downright anxiety-producing. For most people, an 80-some degree day in early April is a joyous thing. For someone uncomfortable and unhappy with their weight, however, it brings mixed emotions, many of them of the negative variety. Anxiety over what will fit and how well. Concern...
Read Morethe tenacious ten: day “i’m too tired to figure out the number”
This has been the third in a string of those WHY DO I DO THAT?!?! days. This weekend has been spent at my parents’ house. Which should explain everything. But just so you get the proper perspective, in case the ramifications of this aren’t self-evident, this means: 1. There was yummy, carby, tempting food available 24/7. 2. I ate way more food than I needed. 3. I ate way more food than I wanted, if I’m honest. And now, I’m paying the consequences of those indiscrections. Heartburn. Bloating. Physical discomfort. The awareness that my pants which fit this...
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