what is worse than pain?
There is, I’ve found, something that is actually WORSE than the insidious vice grip of chronic pain that has had my by the neck for literally as long as I can remember. This is something WORSE than going from doctor to doctor to doctor, and leaving time and time again without an answer or a cure. Something WORSE than the constant suggestions, the “yes, I’ve already tried that,” the actual trying of five thousand different medications or diets or supplements or back-woods remedies. The hopes rising—then the disappointment inevitably falling like a thick blanket...
Read Morewhen god (and your daughter) turn your life upside down
It would appear God is preparing to stretch me in ways I wasn’t quite prepared to be stretched. The writing thing? Yep. Was prepared for THAT stretching. Knew it would be uncomfortable. Knew it would be hard. And time-consuming. And eeeeeeennnndlessssssssss. But these newest helpings on my plate? I don’t know where they came from. I just looked down and they were suddenly there, touching the other food on my plate and overwhelming me a bit with their portion size. Both of these big scoops of faith-stretching goodness have to do with my middle...
Read Morewish lists
I really must stay out of the toy store. It’s just not a safe place for me to be. Nor is it a good place for me to be—with aisle upon aisle beckoning me to spend money I don’t have on gifts my child doesn’t need for a room that has no further space. And yet each year I find myself, somehow, in the middle of the store with my heart being wrenched by the same conflict as last year. When will I get it, Lord? Her little mind is filled with thoughts of Barbie, Hello Kitty, and the Power Puff Girls (where on earth did she pick up the Power Puff Girls?) Her wish list weighs down with the...
Read Morecheer
At the end of every year, Mrs. Williams honored her kindergarten class in front of their parents by picking one word she felt best described them. Ruth’s word for my daughter came as no surprise to me, and though it wouldn’t have been my first thought, it definitely would have been perhaps my second or third. My daughter, Mrs. Williams recognized, was “encouraging.” As her mother, I, of course knew this. I had watched her comfort and coach and coax and cheer every unsuspecting child who crossed her path from the time she was big enough to have other people smaller than she. And while...
Read Moreperseverance
While my daughter has always been athletic and a bit on the speedy side, this cross country thing was a new beast for her. We watched her struggle for weeks as she fought hard for both physical and emotional endurance, only to lose it to illness near the end and have to rebuild it all over again. Endurance, she’s learned, is hard-won. She knew that already. But she didn’t know she knew. For as much as she’d learned at the gym about the mental part of the game, you’d think this would have been easy for her. But twelve year olds don’t know that those mental skills transfer. And so,...
Read Moremotivational monday: rocking my world
God speaks to us, so often, in the most off-beat and unexpected of ways. This Sunday morning, the wife of our youth pastor put on a “tea party” for the middle school girls during service, and titled the event, “How He Loves Us.” It was a very sweet event, and I was blessed to be able to attend and sit with my daughter, since I volunteer with the ministry. The highlight of the morning was an exercise within which the girls were asked to look in a mirror and ask God for one word that describes what he sees in them. They were then to take that word and write it on a rock that...
Read Morestinkin’ thinkin’
My intentions for this evening were to finish a post I began last night in response to watching Once on Saturday night with the hubby. I spent the first part of my evening arguing with my daughter and the second part of my evening doing damage repair instead. Now, it’s after 11:00 and my head is spinning and I’m uncertain where to go with those thoughts, if anywhere. We are such complicated creatures. We jump to conclusions and make assumptions and base our actions and responses on what we often think is true rather than what is true. We misunderstand one another and we...
Read Moremy son on (not) crying
“It’s not really that I’m sad,” he says bravely as he wipes his eyes and fights for the ability to speak. “It’s just that sometimes my voice just stops working and my eyes get all watery. That’s all.” Mmmhmmmm…. (I promise a REAL post tomorrow! Space Camp wore me out!)
Read Morelesson one–do not hide
Was out walking tonight, thinking about my “strong, silent type” (my prayer for him on the heals of praying for “strong, passionate, creative, and independent” in my firstborn). I heard this song again for the first time in a few years, and as I prayed these things for him, was reminded how much I love it. Which is way too much to not share it. For Buddy–I have a hundred reasons why I love you. Boys (Lesson One) by Jars of Clay Lesson one – do not hide Lesson two – there are right ways to fight And if you have questions We can talk through the...
Read Moreinquiring minds want to know
Ironically enough, they both started asking at the same age. Don’t ask me how that happened–I’ve yet to understand it. Why my second grade daughter came home (more than once) from her conservative Christian school asking, “Momma, what is sex?” is still a bit of a mystery to me. Though seeing the precociousness of her class now, in sixth grade, I am less surprised they were already talking about sex on the playground at that age. Inaccurately, mind you, but discussing it in misguided detail, nonetheless. Interestingly enough, each of my children asked a...
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